Categories
Retrospectives

Winter and spies

The winter has arrived in Australia. Well, okay, so those of you in the northern states probably haven’t even noticed. But we down here in Melbourne certainly have, I can tell you. I’m glad I’ve already had my winter haircut. If I have a haircut after it starts to get cold, for the first few […]

Categories
Home life

The manual

They often say that life doesn’t come with an instruction manual. I discovered during the birth that this is not entirely true. Attached to the placenta was the following leaflet: CONGRATULATIONS on the delivery of your new BABY-1000 CRYING MACHINE. The BABY-1000 is programmed to be easy to use and care for. Use this chart […]

Categories
Home life

Birth report

Okay, I know you’ve all been waiting to hear about this. Well okay, so a few of you have shown a passing interest. All right, so one person asked when it happened. Here’s the birth report. I’m not completely knowledgable on all the correct terminology, so forgive me if it sounds a little muddled. It […]

Categories
Home life

Imminent arrival

Okay, it’s Sunday night. I spurn the Eurovision Song Contest and pump up the Led Zeppelin. I wipe the screen with my promotional DHL static wipe thing, and sit down at the keyboard. But am I inspired? To be honest, no. Actually, it’s lucky that I made it. With the baby almost overdue(*), it’s impossible […]

Categories
General

9Phone 9numbers

Well, today it happens – all phone numbers in my little part of the world, Melbourne, grow by a digit. A nine in front of every one. The government’s communications authority, Austel, claim it’s all to allow more phones, better services – all the usual stuff that Austel usually claim. But is that the real […]

Categories
music

New Album

Del Amitri has just released a new album. And what a kick in the teeth for their loyal fans – with the new album comes a free copy of their last album. Oh, thanks very much guys. Like we don’t already have it. Just ‘cos you woke up one Monday and realised you had ARRRGGHHH! […]

Categories
General

First aid/Mobile phones

Just went on a St John first aid course. And just to show you that you’d be in perfectly good hands if you collapsed in the street in front of me, here’s an ever so slightly modified version of their drill. Just remember the letters: LCPAH. (It makes it easier if you think of a […]

Categories
General

Changing names

Ever decided to change the way people know you? To use an alternative derivation of your name? Don’t. At least, try to avoid it. Unless you act like a fascist about it to the people you already know, it’s just too much hassle. New people who meet you will be okay. But anyone who already […]

Categories
Food'n'drink

Easter Weekend

All right, Easter weekend! Just about the longest of the long weekends, except for Christmas. Four days of unadulterated bliss. Okay, considering what’s being remembered on Friday, it doesn’t quite make sense to call it "Good", but I can live with that. Jesus gave that we might have a long weekend. Hmmm, doesn’t quite have […]

Categories
music

Concerts

We just saw the remains of ELO in concert. The special effects at concerts are getting more impressive. The laser shows, formerly designed to impress, are now designed to partially blind you, and contain subliminal messages telling you to buy the band’s new album. The lights and lasers can be incredibly bright. You wouldn’t want […]