Categories
Home life transport

On da train / in da house

A guy got on the train at Prahran yesterday. Very torn jeans. Obvious safety pins in one spot on them. Studded belt. Multicoloured jacket. And a luxurious coiffure of Fabio-style hair, but tied up… and carrying his very own hair dryer. ‘Cos hey, you never know when you might need it. Had a quick look […]

Categories
books Consumerism Morons on the road News and events Ranting transport

Whatthe?

What the F— do you think you’re doing, Mr White Stationwagon? Where the F— did you get your driver’s licence? Why the F— do you think you can decide as you’re driving through an intersection in the left hand lane, that you are suddenly going to turn right, across three lanes of traffic, cutting me […]

Categories
Food'n'drink transport

Late to work

Not that I critically had to be in at a particular time, but I did arrive later than intended at work this morning. I could have blamed the late train. I could have blamed the previous train that I just missed. I could have blamed the crowds of tourists walking slowly in the arcade from […]

Categories
Melbourne transport

Etiquette

If you get the chance, check out tonight’s MX, page 17. If you missed it, here’s a scan… See it bigger here. They edited it a tad – the “We’ll all be old or pregnant one day” bit originally added “Okay, maybe not pregnant.” So it sounded rather more bizarre than intended. But fun stuff. […]

Categories
transport TV

Foxtel bad, Metcard good

Well Mr Foxtel came over yesterday to wire me up to a world of entertainment. Hey, wait a sec, that’s Foxtel’s slogan… but don’t they have problems with it also being Crown Casino’s slogan? Did both of them forget to trademark it? Have they agreed to share it? Anyway Mr Foxtel came over. He wanted […]

Categories
transport

Stand clear please

On Tuesday, I was working at home. My workmate Stanley needed to get some CDs off me. So I gave him instructions for getting to my local station, and said I’d meet him there. Good plan? Nothing simpler, right? Stanley had never been on a train before. Never. Trams yes, but not trains. Oh what […]

Categories
transport

Gilligan

This morning I was on my way into the city. I got to the station at 8:17, to find the 8:06 running a tad late. Not to worry, I was aiming for the 8:21, which couldn’t be far behind. Anyway the 8:06 was packed. Absolutely packed. No, really, I think I saw people crowd surfing […]

Categories
Morons on the road transport

Phun with phones

A couple of years ago, I had a regular TCWF feature called "Moron of the Week". It showcased a particularly moronic driver I’d seen on the roads that week. People liked it, but I got tired of the concept. Tonight however, I spotted one. Getting off the tram to go home, a woman in a […]

Categories
transport

Heading home

A few weeks ago we found ourselves heading home after dinner at a friend’s place, a few hours spent stuffing ourselves with food and wine. Not too many hours though; with a small child called Isaac in tow it’s not quite so easy to paint the town completely red, so we were heading back to […]

Categories
transport

The guys from MET TRAM

Just something I’ve noticed… Why have our tram conductors started wearing high visibility jackets? Even during the day? With "MET TRAM" emblazoned across the back. Who do they think they are, FBI Agents? Armed Response Police? "Stand aside please citizens, MET TRAM coming through! All right, nobody move! Freeze scumbags! Tickets please!" Maybe it’s to […]