Cover, book, judging

On the tram back from lunch. In the corner seat was a bloke in a shirt and tie, carrying a folder. After a stop or two gazing out the window, he reached into his pocket and got out a 10x ticket and validated it, just as a gaggle of inspectors got on. (For out-of-towners, this is a sneaky manoevre designed to avoid paying a fare unless you think you're about to get your ticket checked.) A couple



To the guy in the navy blue suit at Hawksburn station at 8:38 this morning who ran down the ramp as the train doors closed because he thought the train with 1000 people on board should be made later than it already was, just for him and thumped on the door in a rage as the train moved off without him. Congratulations. You just proved to the 150 people in that carriage what a comp

driving, transport

The perils of modern living

On my way back to work after lunch with lovely girlfriend yesterday, I hopped on a tram on Collins Street. Before it even reached the next stop, some bloke in a seat near the front keeled over, his two sneakered feet the only thing visible to me, sticking out into the aisle. The driver stopped at the next stop and called an ambulance, while another passenger who had the air of authority and looked

Home life, transport

On da train / in da house

A guy got on the train at Prahran yesterday. Very torn jeans. Obvious safety pins in one spot on them. Studded belt. Multicoloured jacket. And a luxurious coiffure of Fabio-style hair, but tied up... and carrying his very own hair dryer. 'Cos hey, you never know when you might need it. Had a quick look at a house on Saturday. In a great spot, on a quiet side street, yet shouting distance to the

books, Consumerism, Morons on the road, News and events, Ranting, transport


What the F--- do you think you're doing, Mr White Stationwagon? Where the F--- did you get your driver's licence? Why the F--- do you think you can decide as you're driving through an intersection in the left hand lane, that you are suddenly going to turn right, across three lanes of traffic, cutting me off as I'm about to turn right the other way, leaving my car helplessly stuck in the intersecti

transport, TV

Foxtel bad, Metcard good

Well Mr Foxtel came over yesterday to wire me up to a world of entertainment. Hey, wait a sec, that's Foxtel's slogan... but don't they have problems with it also being Crown Casino's slogan? Did both of them forget to trademark it? Have they agreed to share it? Anyway Mr Foxtel came over. He wanted to know where the existing point was. What existing point? The one my cable internet comes through


Stand clear please

On Tuesday, I was working at home. My workmate Stanley needed to get some CDs off me. So I gave him instructions for getting to my local station, and said I'd meet him there. Good plan? Nothing simpler, right? Stanley had never been on a train before. Never. Trams yes, but not trains. Oh what a sheltered life he must lead. He seemed worried about it, but I told him which train to catch, and which



This morning I was on my way into the city. I got to the station at 8:17, to find the 8:06 running a tad late. Not to worry, I was aiming for the 8:21, which couldn't be far behind. Anyway the 8:06 was packed. Absolutely packed. No, really, I think I saw people crowd surfing in it. There was a mosh pit in the first carriage up by the driver. So I let it go by. I let an express go by too, because