Consumerism Morons on the road Photos

A few pics

It’s nice that the all-new Jazz has come to town… but which town? Judging from the poster, London, apparently, not Melbourne.
Honda Jazz advert

The order’s Roll. Beef Roll.
Order receipt 007

Bless ’em, they’re trying their best to stop any redundancy redundancy.
ATM Machine this way

No. You don’t understand. IT DOESN’T APPLY TO ME.
No parking on lawn
(Mind you, with people apparently continually parking on it, it’s looking more like dirt than lawn.)

Film Melbourne Morons on the road

Friday fotos

Another top class bit of parking. Okay, so it doesn’t appear to actually say “No parking”, but it’s not hard to imagine what the intent was.

I haven’t seen the Get Smart movie yet, but I’m quite amused by these telephone box adverts for it.
Get Smart telephone box advertisement

In Rippon Street, they’re apparently very proud of that beautification award that they almost won, twenty years ago.
Rippon Street

Morons on the road

Instant failure

Something I remember my driving instructor telling me all those years ago was that mounting the kerb was a big no-no during a driving test. It would result in instant failure.

It sticks in my mind, particularly when I see something like this:

Car parked up on kerb

This was the second attempt at parking for this guy. I watched as he reversed in once, mounted the kerb, drove back out, tried again, mounted it again, then gave up and walked away.

Bzzzt! Instant failure!

Morons on the road

Lines? What lines?

Lines? What lines?
Car parked across lines
(Outside Officeworks, Highett)

No time to park properly! Emergency stove purchase!
Car parked halfway in disabled spot
(Outside Clive Peeters, Braybrook)

Morons on the road

I’m so cool

My car is so cool, I can park anywhere I want.

Cool car

Food'n'drink Morons on the road

Parma and parking

Help our kids by eating a Parma — from today until next Thursday, $2 from every chicken parma served at 77 pubs around Melbourne (PDF list) will go to the Royal Children’s Hospital Good Friday appeal. Yes, more than ever, is sadly missed.

I can’t give you a picture rivalling this carpark mishap in Brighton, but I did snap this one the other day.

No, the car didn’t have a disabled sign. And there was plenty of other (legal) parking a few metres away.

Morons on the road

Not quite getting it

“What is this ‘One Way’ of which you speak?”

One way

(Picture snapped on their second revolution of the car park.)

Morons on the road

Dear moron

I may not be the world’s foremost expert on driving, but even I could see you made two critical mistakes driving out of the supermarket carpark.

1. You drove the wrong way around the one-way system.

2. Your baby was on the lap of your passenger.

I hope that you were pulled over and booked on the way home. But if not, I hope you didn’t collide with anything.

You, sir, are a thoughtless moron.

PS. You’re not doing the reputation of P-platers any good, either.

driving Morons on the road

Note to self

My car is dark grey. A recent study found that dark-coloured cars are more prone to accidents. In the rain, like this morning, I drive with my lights on, for visibility.

It’s like my friend Merlin, who rides a motorcycle. Where he lives in Canberra, you apparently don’t have to ride with your motorcycle headlight on (or didn’t, when I asked him about it a few years ago). But he said “my bike is road-coloured, so I do”. Sounds fair enough.

But note to self: Turn car lights off when parking.

That way, I won’t get back to it 9 hours later and find the battery flat and have to call the RACV guy and run the motor for a while to get the battery charged again. Like I did tonight.

On the bright side, at least I didn’t park it like this, across two parking spaces:
Car parked midway between two spots

Or go driving like this:
Taxi going the wrong way down a one way street

Melbourne Morons on the road

On the road

You don’t have to be a 4WD owner to drive like a moron. Even Prius owners do it sometimes.

Prius driving badly

The other contender this week was red Mercedes TLH 385, zooming down Jasper Road with at least one indicator and brake light not working, tail-gating and generally driving like a maniac on Wednesday night.

Also seen this week: multi-level parking for bicycles.

Prius driving badly