Categories
Geek

Windows 95

So, Windows 95 is out. Yep, August the 24th, the big day, came and went, without a whimper of hype or advertising. Not! But you won’t see me complaining about the hype. Nope. Not me. I like the hype surrounding Windows 95. I like the Rolling Stones jingle, I like the advert, I like the […]

Categories
Home life

Coming of The Vomitron!

From the womb he came. At first, he ate, slept, wet. But three months later, he had become… the VOMITRON! Projecting his spew through the air – to land on the unsuspecting parent. No t-shirt is safe, no jumper provides protection from… the VOMITRON!

Categories
Geek Working life

PC’95

I went to the PC show last week. That’s one of the perks of being a "computer professional" – you get to go to a big building, walk around for a couple of hours with your friends having brochures stuffed in your face, then go and claim it on your time-sheet. The PC show is […]

Categories
General

Automatic doors

Automatic doors. What an innovation. Above them, the sensor waits for people to come along. It lights up when it detects someone, and the doors open, generally just a tad late, so you end up slowing down in anticipation of them opening. I’ve been playing with the ones at work. Playing "Chicken" with them. As […]

Categories
General

Car advertisements

Is it me, or are car advertisements getting exceedingly wanky? It must be a difficult job, trying to convince people to part with thirty-odd thousand dollars of their hard-earned cash. So what do they come up with? There’s the Jeep ad. Love the jingle. Dum da da da da… But this image of the suited […]

Categories
General

Smoking

Do people still discourage their kids from smoking by saying "it’ll stunt your growth"? Because I don’t think it’ll work. For one thing, I know a guy who smokes and is about nine feet tall. (Hi Andrew). No, I think honesty is the best policy. "It’ll give you cancer, son", I’ll say. "It’ll give you […]

Categories
News and events

The Bosnian situation

How has the West let this happen? Surely only a complete moron with absolutely no brain whatsoever could not have foreseen it… How did the conversations in the governments of Europe go? "So, what is your plan for Bosnia? How will you keep all these people who hate each other’s guts from killing each other?" […]

Categories
Politics and activism

Boxing LIVE! from the Taiwanese parliament

What’s the deal in the Taiwanese parliament? Twice last week they got into punch-ups during debates. Do they really believe that beating each other up will help win the debate? "Well Mr Speaker, although the motion of the Agriculture Minister can’t possibly be passed on economic or ecological grounds, since his left hook is so […]

Categories
transport

The guys from MET TRAM

Just something I’ve noticed… Why have our tram conductors started wearing high visibility jackets? Even during the day? With "MET TRAM" emblazoned across the back. Who do they think they are, FBI Agents? Armed Response Police? "Stand aside please citizens, MET TRAM coming through! All right, nobody move! Freeze scumbags! Tickets please!" Maybe it’s to […]

Categories
Retrospectives

Memories of the 7-11

There was a time in my life when I used to use the 7-11 regularly. It’s now a distant memory of days when I was so much less organised. Those days when I nearly always forgot to get something from the supermarket while it was open. Of course, now the supermarkets are all open until […]