On da train / in da house

A guy got on the train at Prahran yesterday. Very torn jeans. Obvious safety pins in one spot on them. Studded belt. Multicoloured jacket. And a luxurious coiffure of Fabio-style hair, but tied up… and carrying his very own hair dryer. ‘Cos hey, you never know when you might need it.

Had a quick look at a house on Saturday. In a great spot, on a quiet side street, yet shouting distance to the station and supermarket and shops. But the house itself… oh dear. Oh dear oh dear.

The propaganda suggested all one would need to do was rip up the carpet, take off the (very fugly) brick veneer, replace the kitchen, and you’d have your dream home. No mention of the tiny bathtub (made for midgets?), handily angled floors (useful for seeing if your spirit level is working), the lack of space in the kitchen for a fridge, and the spurious and very dodgy-looking electrical cables all around the garden (Hooray! Garden spotlights everywhere and — wait for it — a working miniature lighthouse).

Nup. A fulltime job renovating a house is something I can do without, thanks. As Josh said, probably easier to bulldoze and start afresh. All these “features” may not stop it selling for a small fortune though.

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4 Replies to “On da train / in da house”

  1. this house is what real estate agents call “a renovators dream”. A few years ago when I was looking at buying a home I saw a cheap two bedroom apartment in Mentone, had ocean views, but the walls were dirty, the carpet was soggy, and the whole place was so smelly not even squatters would want to live there.

  2. Methinks one should move over to the other side of town. That’s an amazing base price on a house needing a hell of a lot of work.

  3. Sorry folks, but these here western suburbs are no cheaper. Not anymore.

    What’s happened? Well, we’ve been ‘discovered’. Yes, by you-know-who: Yuppies, price-risers: young professionals “I just fell in love with it!” That’s what they say. blah blah blah.

    Lots going on here now, by golly. Latte shops, organic fruiteries, power walkers everywhere.

    In other words, nothing new. Same old crapsters. A virus, spreading out from the other side of town. Infecting country areas too: Castlemaine, Daylesford…Prices gone crazy. Well, these high-faluting sunglassed fancy pants drongos deserve what they get. What they get is each other. Total boredom.

  4. HOLY SHIT! I have a 3000 sq foot house for sale with a finished basement, 2 bathrooms, 3 bedroom, huge kitchen, dining room and living room along with a granny apartment with it’s own ktichen bath, bedroom and living area. We live in a ritz neighbourhood in East Coast Canada and we cant even get $120,000 for it!

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