Stuff probably only I find funny

1. It’s hard not to smirk when you hear a colleague talking on the phone, telling someone else to send a copy of a screen by saying "yes, go onto that screen and take a dump…"

2. Forgot to mention something from the school re-union last week. The school was known for its high academic achievement. One day they’re going to ask why I was there. Anyway when I was there the vice-principal was Mr Duke, who was seen as somewhat fearsome. One of the teachers recalled the day they arrived to find that someone had written on the school oval with acid "DUKE DESPOT". They joked that at any other school, it would have been "DUKE C—".

Well, it made me laugh, anyway.

Auction day on my favourite place is this Saturday, and as fate would have it, another place I quite like is up for auction at exactly the same time. So, my current plan is to go to one, and find someone to go to the other place and – I know I sound like an evil overlord planning some dastardly plot here – do my bidding. We’ll keep the phones on the whole time and make sure I don’t accidentally buy both of them…

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