Open for inspection

I just strolled down to Safeway, and on the way back I spotted one of those "Open for Inspection" signs that a real estate agent had left on the street. It was almost 9pm, and pitch black, so I’m guessing they just forgot to collect it. Unless of course they were aiming for the nightowl market – those people who are moseying around in the dark looking for a new house to buy.

In fact, it could be a distinct advantage to the seller, having people inspect the house in the dark. All sorts of faults and defects might go unnoticed.

"Hey, there’s a two metre jagged square hole in this wall."

"Ah yes – well spotted. I was hoping you wouldn’t notice it. Ummm… I don’t suppose there’s any chance of you believing it’s a window?"

"Oh, is it?"

"Yes, it is."

"Oh, okay."

But no, I think the sign had just been forgotten. Could be good for a laugh, I thought, if you got hold of one of these signs and placed it pointing towards something totally inappropriate… such as…

  • some great public building – parliament house, the National gallery, a museum, Flinders Street Station, a National Trust building, a cathedral, that sort of thing
  • a real estate agent’s office
  • the house of somebody you didn’t like
  • a public toilet
  • a brothel

I didn’t take it, of course. Not because of some weird kind of guilt about ripping off estate agents (it would go a step towards evening up the score, wouldn’t it?) but because my hands were full of shopping.

Actually, have you noticed how churches are getting little signs out on the street too? I think someone in the sign-writing trade managed to sell a job lot off, all the ones I’ve seen seem to have the same slogan. "Church open – Come in to… Rest. Think. Pray." (Oh, so that’s what they’re for!)

Come to think of it, it sounds quite similar to the Mars Bar slogan, doesn’t it. How about "A church a day helps you work rest and pray"?

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