Well, on Tuesday morning a telephone guy came around, fiddled with a few things, tested it all out and officially opened the new Telephone Service To Daniel’s Desk. Hooray I thought, people can ring me. And they did.
After only about an hour, I’d had four calls for someone else – a someone else who is apparently the corporate internal newsletter editor. I spoke to her a little later and she was genuinely surprised that I had that number. But she stopped giving it to other people, and I got no more calls for her.
But it gets better. On Wednesday afternoon the phone rang again. I picked it up and it turned out to be ABC Radio News. "We were just wondering if we could get an official comment on the staff demonstration earlier today outside your corporate headquarters".
So I did what any responsible person would do. I told them that the official corporate line was that "those people are cranks, nothing more, nothing less. They’ve got no real grievance, they’re just having a whinge for no good reason. They ought to get haircuts, get real jobs, and sod off and stop interrupting us making more money. We’ve identified them all through closed circuit television and intend to sack them all forthwith!"
Or maybe I just found the right number for Media Liaison and transferred the guy to it.