Critique

You’ll know you’re really a parent when you start appraising your offspring’s excrement. Okay, so it’s important to make sure his movements are regular and healthy, but sometimes it goes a little too far. It starts to sound like a couple of art critics…

"Mmmm…. beautiful consistency, wouldn’t you say?"

"Absolutely. A prime example of the genre."

"One could almost say the finest work of his nappy period."

"Would you say cloth, or disposable?"

"Oh cloth, most certainly. There’s always a slightly different texture to be found…"

"Ah yes, ah yes. And has the artist signed it?"

"Mmm… unlikely."

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