As I write this, the French are detonating nuclear bombs in the Pacific. And so, this week’s moron of the week is Jacques Chirac, who has defied world opinion and common sense, and gone ahead with the first of the new series of French nuclear tests. Why? Well, no-one’s really sure.

Actually, today we saw some demonstrators outside the French consulate here in Melbourne. Yep, the full bit. The white plastic suits, the banners, the street theatre, the conga lines, the flannelette shirts, everything. Some shouting, waving banners, and generally blocking up the street outside. After about half an hour the crowd started to disperse, so I figured either the French announced a change of heart… or the people got tired. The latter, I think.

This Helen Dimidenko/Darville case has got me wondering. Think football. Robert Dipierdeminico(*) – is that HIS real name?? Is the "Big Dipper" actually Bob Darville from Yorkshire?

(*)Or however you spell it.

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