Now I think I know what Jonathon Ross was on about when he talked about his baby daughter producing "the Exxon Valdez of poo". Yesterday we got to experience this for ourselves. My son Isaac had been saving his up. Saving it for a day and a half, in fact. There was tons of it ... [More]
Month: September 1995
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My McDonalds story
I went to the Billy Connolly concert last night, and he’s reminded me a funny story that is absolutely true. I’ll do a quick grep through the files to make sure I haven’t told you this before. Because I don’t like to be repetitive if I can help it. Do I? No, I don’t. Don’t ... [More]
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Submarines and tampons
So let me get this straight. Is this what happened? Have I got this right? Russian military fails to pay power bill Power plant sends three red notices, then cuts off power The power in question is used to cool nuclear submarines Submarine commander realises if power isn’t turned back on, subs will go into ... [More]
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Earth to Ian Leslie
Hello… hello, Earth to Ian Leslie. Come in Ian Leslie, former Sixty Minutes Reporter. Leslie, your cover’s blown. After ads for Woolworths, electricity privatisation and ANZ Bank, everyone has realised you’re not really a journalist anymore… come in Leslie… [My spelling checker wanted to change "ANZ" to "NAZI"]
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More nuclear tests
As I write this, the French are detonating nuclear bombs in the Pacific. And so, this week’s moron of the week is Jacques Chirac, who has defied world opinion and common sense, and gone ahead with the first of the new series of French nuclear tests. Why? Well, no-one’s really sure. Actually, today we saw ... [More]
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Jolly Jumper
Hands up how many of you have babies. Have you seen the Jolly Jumper? For those not familiar with it, it’s a kind of thing that attaches the baby to the door jamb by a spring, and allows a baby who can’t yet walk (or even crawl) to bounce around. We got one on Saturday. ... [More]