- Hey Daniel
- You need to go to the toilet. Now.
- Do I? Okay. Ooh. That doesn’t feel right. I wonder if I’m okay.
- Hey Daniel
- Toilet again.
- So soon?
- And do you have a bucket handy?
- Yeah I think so.
- Grab it.
- Okay. What for… oohhhh… oohh dear… bleaaarrrrgghhh…. Well now. That’s a spectacular colour.
- It is, isn’t it. Now might be a good time for you to go to bed.
- Yes, I think I will.
And so it began, last night, a joyful night of gastroenteritis. It’s gone around some of the rest of my family, but by golly it was my turn. Thankfully not as painful or traumatic as last time I was sick (hmm, exactly a month ago, too), but not exactly pleasant.
So today I’ve spent the day at home, resting, primarily from the lack of sleep last night. It’s amazing how slowly the day can go when you’re spending it doing next to nothing. I keep looking at the clock, being amazed it’s only X o’clock, instead of X+2 o’clock.
I’m holding, in my other hand(*), a box of twine. What strange stuff, twine. It must come from a twine factory. I wonder how many people work there. And what they say at parties when people ask them what they do. "Oh well… I make twine. Yeah, you know how when you get the packet, how one end of the twine ball is sticking out of the hole in the top. I do that. I find the end and stick it out of the hole."
I also notice on the box it says "open flap for instructions." Well, thank God for that. I tell you what, I’d be lost without instructions on how to use my twine. They’d have to open a 24 hour Twine Line, for distressed users of twine. "Oh, you’ve got to help me, I got my twine home, and I just can’t think what I’m going to do with it. I’ve tried everything – cooking with it, programming the VCR with it, even sex. You’ve got to help me, please." But no, there are instructions inside boxes of twine. It probably just says "tie stuff".
(*) the one I’m not typing with.