Four men (and some onlookers), a couch, one right-angled hallway, and two doors. Actually, not strictly a couch, but a sofa-bed, which means it was the awkward couch shape, but 50% more weight.

Somehow it had got in there. Nobody seemed sure how. Apparently it had been done by Paid Professionals from the furniture shop. It must be a prerequisite for working for those places to have a maths degree, ‘cos it had us stumped.

Could we try it horizontal? No.

Vertical? No.

Horizontal then tipping to vertical at the doorway? No.

Horizontal with a twist? No.

How fond of this couch are you, anyway?

Would the door come off? No. Don’t think so. Hold on. <bang! bang! bang!>. No.

Put it down on a rope via the balcony?

Would the tiny legs come off the couch? Ah, yes! A few centimetres gained.

I was pondering if anybody’s written some specialised CAD software that lets you model your home, and the furniture, and then guides you through the precise steps to get it in and out of any room.

Finally, we had it. A cunning combination of almost vertical, turning on two axes as it went. Brilliant. At least, that was the first doorway.

Down the hallway, then similar shenanigans at the second doorway, then a break for lunch, then the stair thing. Two flights.

One guy had a neck pain. One had a hurt foot. Something felt funny in my ankle. But the damn thing was in the truck. That’s what counted.