The antenna guys came on Saturday. They were a startling and pleasing contrast to their esteemed colleagues at Foxtel. Being half owned by the semi-government-owned phone company probably doesn’t help Foxtel - their work practices are rife with public-service style practices.

You want Foxtel connected? You have to be home on a weekday, and guarantee them a five hour block in which you’ll be there - either 7am to midday, or midday to 5pm. The antenna guys? Saturday’s fine, and they gave me a two hour block in which to expect them, and they rang ahead to make sure I was home.

And of course, Foxtel couldn’t do the job. I might have any amount of permission from the landlady, but they claimed there hands were tied - they couldn’t wire up a new point. "Yep sure, you’ve got permission? Then we can do that", replied the antenna people. And they did. It only took them a few minutes, and a brand sparking new TV antenna was up on the roof for me. And they took their boots off at the front door.

It now bugs me that I didn’t do this a year or two ago, but the fact is that it’s only since I got my new television a few months ago that the signal has been so noticeably bad. Apart from the TV being so much bigger, and thus showing off static better, I think there’s something in the TV itself (and one of my VCRs) that can interfere with the signal if it’s not very strong.

Anyway, the picture now is crystal clear, well, about as clear as a PAL transmission can be (I think I may have been a little spoilt by DVDs recently). Channel 31 is a little fuzzy, but that’s to be expected given the pittance they operate on. They probably use an old coat hanger for their transmission tower.

All in all, a very pleasant change, and while I may not be drowning in the myriad of channels I’d have if Foxtel was connected, it’s free from a monthly contribution to their ungrateful coffers.

By the way, when I got home, I had to laugh. Guess what was in the mailbox…. yep, that’s right: a Foxtel magazine.

Continuing this month’s globalisation theme, I just discovered that Toblerone is now owned by Kraft, which in turn is owned by Philip Morris. That’s terrible! The famous triangular chocolate bar, in all its various sizes, is manufactured by a cigarette company!

A bloke from The Bulletin has written a story about online diaries. And he hassled me for some information about them, apparently for no other reason that this thing has been running longer than most. That was last week. This week they asked me if they could take my photo for the article. Grr. That’s not something I generally like. I’m not a publicity hound. They pleaded with me and let me read a draft of the article. I eventually agreed, principally because this is not going on the cover of The Age or Woman’s Day or bloody TV Week. It’s "only" The Bulletin. Hell, I don’t think I even know anybody who reads it. Though come to think of it I don’t think I know anybody who reads Woman’s Day or TV Week either.

Anyway, they sent a photographer around this morning. He took various pictures of me in front of the computers, holding keyboards up in very non-ergonomic positions as if to emphasise that I’m a wired happenin’ net.dude. Then he had me carry a keyboard outside and take a few more pictures of me there. So if The Bulletin comes out next week with a picture of me sitting on the grass in front of a keyboard that’s not connected to anything… you’ll know it wasn’t my idea.

Meanwhile, the Foxtel saga reached its climax today. Mr Foxtel came out again this afternoon. We were both under the misapprehension that some miracle had occurred that would allow him to connect me . But we’d both been misinformed by the Foxtel sales people. Wonderful. No miracle cure to the problem that the existing point is at the wrong end of the house.

He was utterly adamant that he couldn’t do it, because it would have to go through doors, something the Foxtel people apparently didn’t understand. He rang his supervisor, and I rang Foxtel, and another bloke from the cabling people rang back on my other phone at the same time, and we all ended up having a big conference about it.

The conclusion? Can’t do it.

Fuck ‘em, that’s what I say. Bastards. Instead, I’ve booked installation of a new antenna for Saturday, so at least I can get free-to-air properly. And I’ve just rung and subscribed to PBS FM, so that a better cause can get some of my monthly entertainment budget. And I may go on another DVD-buying binge.

That’ll make me feel better.

I didn’t get much sleep last night. Shortly after I went to bed, I could hear a thumping bass line coming from somewhere. The music itself wasn’t very loud, but that thumping bass line was resonating through the building. Now, I’m all for thumping bass lines in principle, but 11:30 at night when I’m trying to get to sleep is not the time. I tried to block it out and get to sleep, but failed. Then fumed for a while, presuming that it was coming from the unruly mob from the house next door.

A bit after midnight, I stopped fuming, put on my slippers and went downstairs to try and figure out where it was coming from. It wasn’t from the mob next door after all, but from the flat below mine. A few years ago I had problems with them and a loud television. The guy who used to have the loud television has actually swapped rooms, and now below my bedroom is some young guy who likes thumping bass lines.

I went back upstairs, fumed a bit more, then went and rang their doorbell and told them to shut it up. I had to do it twice before there was quiet. But then I got to sleep.

Watched Twelve Monkeys on Friday night. It had been a few years since I’d seen it, and I’d forgotten enough of it that it was very interesting. The DVD
has a documentary about its making which is almost as long as the movie itself, and is very interesting. Certainly not your average dull promotional pap.

Kinda watched Hard Target, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, on Saturday. Seemed to have every action movie cliché in the book, but was entertaining nonetheless, in a gruesomely sick violent way. I missed half an hour in the middle of the film while eating dinner, but didn’t feel like I missed anything important. You know, I used to know a guy at uni who idolised JCVD. Not sure why. Can’t have been for his acting ability.

Last night as I went to bed, I’d swear I turned on my alarm clock and checked the time set on it: 7:20.

I slept long and well. Then I woke. It was light. All was quiet except for the wind and rain outside. Too quiet for 7:20 on a Monday morning. Normally those brave and foolhardy souls who drive into the city are zooming down the road about that time.

I looked at the clock. 8:20. Eight twenty! Oops. That’s normally the time I leave the house to go to work on a Monday morning. Oh well, there was nothing critical I had to be in at work for first thing anyway. So I sauntered in, braving fierce 45 degree rain in the process, and eventually got into work around 9:30.

Sorted out the cable TV at the weekend. The landlady doesn’t care if a cable runs through the house, which apparently was always an option, though the technician didn’t actually say so at the time. Well, the appointment has been re-cast, and he’d better do it this time, or I won’t be pleased.

It’ll be a couple more weeks to wait before a bonanza of channels comes pouring into my house - too late to see Glam Metal Detectives this time around, but I’m sure some other obscure cult comedies will make their appearance in due course.

Well Mr Foxtel came over yesterday to wire me up to a world of entertainment. Hey, wait a sec, that’s Foxtel’s slogan… but don’t they have problems with it also being Crown Casino’s slogan? Did both of them forget to trademark it? Have they agreed to share it?

Anyway Mr Foxtel came over. He wanted to know where the existing point was. What existing point? The one my cable internet comes through. Ah. It’s at the wrong end of the house for TV. Hmmm.

It quickly became apparent that Mr Foxtel won’t install points unless they’re easy to do. I’m told by people who know that these guys get paid on the number of points they install, which means if it’s not a ten minute job, they put their hands up and say "sorry, impossible". Which is pretty much what Mr Foxtel said. He proclaimed that the Foxtel powers-that-be would not permit another point into the house, and that he couldn’t run cable from the existing point.

But he said that if I wanted to move my TV into the computer room, I’d be set. Yeah. Great idea.

Great. I mean, do these people want my money every month or not? The other company, OptusVision, won’t touch flats at all. Why is it so hard to get cable TV? Here! I want cable! Here’s my money! Disposable income a-plenty! Will nobody take it?

So this morning I rang them up. After much to-ing and fro-ing, they’ve concluded that they simply can’t put in a second point. Something to do with the cable access laws. Uh huh. They can run an "exposed" line through the house, but need my landlady’s approval to do it. This is, of course, not what the guy said yesterday.

Harumph. How badly do I want cable? Maybe I should just shell out for a new TV antenna to get the 6 free channels.

Meanwhile, to my utter surprise, the Metcard people sent me a refund (in the form of more tickets) for my destroyed train ticket. That’s right - no interrogation, no demanding of physical proof of the ticket. Apparently they consider the excerpt from my bank statement showing the EFTPOS transaction to be enough. Amazing. Doubly amazing when you consider that the bank statement was just printed off the web.

At 8:47am this morning as I was driving along, car headlights lit up along the road. Not all of them, by any means, but probably close to two-thirds of those that I passed. It was a simple, yet poignant reminder of September 11th last year, a gesture suggested by a local newspaper, which has been taken up nationwide. 14 hours too early, it’s true, but it’s the thought that counts. Not just your own memories of that day, but the fact that others are thinking about it with you.

Of course, I wonder how many people will forget their lights are on when they get to where they’re going this morning, and if it will be a nation of flat car batteries tonight.

I’m selling out to the mass media this week. The cold hand of corporate globalisation will be coming to my house. I’m getting cable TV connected on Thursday. Yes, Mr Foxtel is going to drop in and connect up cables, and it’ll be bye bye to shitty TV reception on 6 channels, and hello to crystal-clear reception on 40 channels and a monthly bill that would feed a third world family. Ooh.. I didn’t think of that. No matter, I give more money to worthy charities every month, so my conscience is clear. I’m more worried about having to cut back on DVDs.

So, how will it change my viewing habits? Well being able to watch the news without snow will help. And the extra channels? Well looking at the TV guide, it’s essentially more of the same, isn’t it. More of the same, with more repeats. Plus all those authoritative world news TV stations that the free to air stations flick to every time a crisis happens. But is that evil globalisation, or is that enjoying a diversity of points of view from around the world?

Anyway, if I can see the very wacky Glam Metal Detectives again (UKTV, 11pm weeknights) I’ll be happy.

Funk and justice for all!