My mate Brian flew out to LA today with his fiance. She’s American, they’ve been rushing around getting papers together for an immigration application. On Friday night we were trying to work out where to get something photocopied - we ended up driving up to K-Mart at Chadstone!

Ten minutes before the place closed, and it turned out the photocopiers were out of action. He pleaded with the girl "I’m flying to Los Angeles tomorrow and I need this photocopied urgently!" and it worked, she did it in the staff room for him.

So, remember that line if you ever need something urgently… "I’m flying to Los Angeles tomorrow…" And hope they don’t ask for documentary evidence of that.

Err… Obviously, if you live in Los Angeles, substitute another city. Melbourne’s pretty nice this time of year.

Apparently I’m a Net identity. And the web site you’re reading is infamous! I know, because I just read it in black and white - well, okay, in black and beige - in the February issue of Australian Personal Computer.

They reckon I’m getting a prize for reporting a bug in their own magazine CD. Now, if only the prize was that they published one of my articles…

Postscript March 1999: I got to choose a prize from their software cupboard, a collection of various geeky development tools. I chose what I thought I was least likely to leave lying around in the spare room unused: Visual J++ Pro.

Well, it had to happen. What a way to start the year.

At lunchtime a couple of workmates and I decided to take a spin in the car down to our local friendly discount record shop, the legendary JB’s. I had parked under a tree, and wouldn’t you know it, it was one of those ones that decides to shed zillions of buds when your car happens to be parked under it. Damn, and I only washed it yesterday.

So then we got in, and I gave the windscreen wipers a quick go to clear off the raindrops and buds. A huge pink thing moved up and down with the left wiper. Dammit!

Yes, I got my first ticket.

For parking too close to an intersection. There goes a hundred bucks. Ah well, it had to happen eventually, and that’s fair, I can’t deny it, it’s a fair cop guv etc etc.

So if you find yourself parking in Outer Crescent Brighton: watch out. Choose your spot very carefully.