No baby news yet. The due date is still a week away. In theory, he could arrive any day, but only he knows that.

Today at work I’ve fallen victim to Rafflemania. One guy came around selling tickets for a Football Club raffle. The prize? 500 cans of beer. Thankfully, you can take the cash equivalent. To be honest, I’d probably have some trouble getting through the second prize (300 cans) and the third prize (150 cans).

The other one was a for SIDS, and the prize is any Ford car up to a cost of $52,000. I never used to enter car raffles, but for once in my life I could actually use the prize, so I thought I might as well!

Last night I got together with a few friends to celebrate my driver’s licence - by having a few drinks at Young And Jacksons, of course. Very appropriate. Telling them about the test made me think of something interesting…

There are some really horrible stretches of road around South Oakleigh. Specifically, within about a kilometre of the VicRoads test centre, there is:

• An uncontrolled intersection (eg no signs, lights or line marking)
• Speedhumps galore
• An intersection with a give way sign, but where you can’t possibly see what’s coming unless you stop and edge forward very slowly
• A tiny road with double white lines around a tight corner
• A roundabout where going straight across actually means turning about 30 degrees

All the driving parts of the driving test are done in this area. I don’t think this is a coincidence. So the question is: Did they build the roads in this horrible way because the VicRoads testing centre is here, or when looking for the perfect spot for the VicRoads testing centre, did they look through the Melway looking for hideous road layouts?

And given the number of Learner drivers who are constantly cruising in the area, are the insurance premiums higher there for people who leave their cars out in the street?

Anyway, a special thanks to: Andre (my driving instructor), Susannah, John, James (all of whom were brave enough to let me use their cars to practice), and to all those others who gave me encouragement: Thanks - And can I borrow your car?

Well.

Watch out, world.

Because the next street you cross… the next intersection you come to…

I could be there!

Okay, so actually I don’t have a car, but I did pass my driving test today. And you know what - I think I actually enjoyed it. I got a bit stressed beforehand, but during the actual test (there was a drive, followed by the computer simulation thingy), I was pretty relaxed.

So now I’m the proud owner of a red Probationary Driver’s Licence (Victoria, Australia). Not a bad day’s work, for a Tuesday.

Well, on Tuesday it’s D-Day. Driving Test day. At the grand old age of twenty-seven and a half, I’m finally (hopefully) going to get a driver’s license. Something that most people do when they’re about ten years younger. Ah well, I guess I’m a late bloomer.

To give me every advantage possible, I’m thinking of chasing up friends of friends who are cops and trying to see if they can organise some kind of exclusion zone around the VicRoads South Oakleigh branch on Tuesday. Five kilometres should do it. No, maybe ten just to be safe. I think I’ll pass anyway, but empty roads would definitely be a plus.

As it happens, my driving instructor is pretty confident. Mind you, he’s been very agreeable after the accident. Nah, just kidding, THERE WAS NO ACCIDENT.

So just like for any test, we’ll go through last-minute practice and revision at noon or so on Tuesday, followed by the test at 1:15.

Watch this space on Tuesday arvo for the results… Hmmm…. If I pass, maybe I’ll grab all my friends for the most inappropriate activity possible - a celebratory drink.

The other big thing in my life right now is my wife. L has been slowly expanding over the last eight and a half months, or to be precise, the baby inside her has been slowly expanding, and she’s been making room for him. And while there’s still a week and a half to go until the exact ETA, baby Jeremy could leap out into the waiting world at any time.

Of course, I’m now kind of hoping this doesn’t happen on Tuesday, because I’m all psyched up for the test, but as long as when he gets out that everything runs smoothly, then I’m happy.

I’ve been thinking more and more about overseas travel recently. With the Aussie dollar plummetting against the UK Pound, it seems like quite a few people I know are considering zipping over there to work for a bit.

This is something I’ve considered many times before, but never quite got organised enough to do. And although now is not the ideal time family-wise (one two year-old and one about to be zero year-old), it’s bouncing around in my mind more than ever. At the very least, perhaps a holiday over there is in order. A chance to visit the rellies and get back to my English roots.

Why am I thinking of it now? There’s the friends working overseas factor. There’s my sister, currently midway through a holiday in the UK. There’s the Race Around The World factor - the whole adventure and travel thing. There’s all those Bill Bryson books I’ve been reading. And all those articles in the Travel section of the Saturday paper. It makes it very tempting.

Sometimes I really think I’d love to go backpacking for a bit. Just walk around exploring a new country, like so many people do before they reach this advanced stage of their 20s! In a strange land with just a sleeping bag and a pair of Blunnies to carry.

What are the chances of this happening? Dunno. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, it’s only a couple of weeks until my driving test. And while I’ve been advised by one friend to keep it quiet that I’m taking a test in case I’m embarrassed if I fail (spot the person who failed one!) I’m quietly confident. Heck, even parallel parking is turning out to be easy. How hard can a 15-20 minute drive around South Oakleigh be?

News from the front: The dead possum has fallen.

Back in April last year, a possum electrocuted itself and was left dangling from an electricity wire outside our house. It was there for months, gradually decomposing, but still hanging in there.

Well, this evening there was a reasonably fierce thunderstorm, and I noticed afterwards that the possum had fallen. Its remains now sit on the nature strip.

Vale, Possum.

PS. Wanna know the REALLY gross bit? The tail is still up there.

The dead possum archive

• Original report: 30/4/97
• Update: 22/8/97
• Update: 22/10/97

I don’t think I’m a particularly angry person, but the other day I got really really pissed off. At my mother. Perhaps getting cheesed off at your parents isn’t the most unusual of human experiences, but to get so angry as to hang-up on a person is beyond the normal bounds of my behaviour.

I think I have only slammed the phone down in anger once before, and from memory that was with a particularly persistent and irritating telemarketer. And I’m not even in the habit of shouting at my parents. This is not because I think I might be risking an inheritance (far from it, I reckon they’ve got less money between them than me), but more because I’m not really in the habit of shouting at anyone in particular.

But on this occasion, I did. This is what happened…

My sister Susannah flew out for a month long holiday in the UK on New Year’s Day, leaving me behind, jealous as hell. After a stopover in Singapore, she arrived at our Grandparents place in West Sussex on Saturday. She lost her Telecard PIN, but rang reverse charges on Saturday night (our time) to say "hi, I’ve arrived. I’ve got a bit of a cold and I’m tired, but otherwise OK". I thought she sounded quite chirpy. She asked me to ring her boyfriend John to let him know she had got there safely, which I did.

On Sunday night, my mum rings and says that she got a call from Grandad to say that Susannah’s "ill". I said "oh.. she rang me and I thought she just had a cold". My mum says "well, it sounds like she’s not well, and I think it might have been polite if you’d rung me to let me know."

I replied "well, all I heard about was that she had a cold, and she didn’t ask me to ring you". She repeats "It might have been polite…" etc

By this point I was starting to get angry. Maybe I was already in a bad mood, and this tipped me over into fully-fledged anger. "Look, Susannah rang me to let me know she’d got there. She asked me to ring John. She didn’t ask me to ring you, and especially since it was 10:30 at night, I didn’t!"

"Don’t shout at me Daniel. It just would have been polite…"

I was so pissed off at this point that I slammed down the handset. Which made me feel better actually! I really hate being spoken to like I’m still a teenager, so I didn’t want to continue the conversation.

It makes me think of a big problem with mobile phones. You can’t slam down a mobile phone. You press a button. At least with your typical desk phones, the other person can hear it if you slam the handset down in anger.

• To help people all over the world live together in peace and harmony

• To get my neighbours evicted

• To tidy up my desk to the point where I can see it

• To see and take pictures of more of the world

• To defy the odds and get my driving license, preferably without crashing into anything. Or at least, without killing anybody.