This morning I noticed the Billy Connolly quote in yesterday’s paper and read it to L:

"Marriage is a terrific invention… but then, so is the bicycle repair kit."

L asked "so would you rather have a bicycle repair kit?"

"No", I replied, "… I don’t even have a bicycle!"

A friend of mine bought the same video capture board as me, but he had some trouble installing his. Why is installing things never as easy as they make out on the box? Maybe they should be more honest…

"System requirements: Pentium processor or higher, Windows 95 or NT 4, Super VGA with 256 or more colours, and a full head of hair because you’ll rip half of it out trying to get this bloody thing to work. Punching bag, therapy or professional guidance highly recommended."

Plug’n'Play definitely needs some work. Imagine what they’d do in Star Trek when they have to plug in some new hardware…

"Computer, run a level 3 diagnostic on the video capture board!"

"Commander Bowen, your PC is stuffed full of junk. Recommend unnecessary cards be ejected and placed on stand-by."

"Make it so."

"SCSI to Coffee Machine interface card… ejected.
Microsoft Barney doll interface card… ejected and destroyed.
Pro-3D Bananas In Pyjamas hologram card… ejected.
MethodologyZapper high paid consultant deflection device… ejected.
…
Video capture board is now operable."

Both our capture boards are working now (as you’d have seen from the plethora of new graphics around the Toxic Custard web site).

And this is important to me. As a computer nerd, parent and someone who delights in nifty gadgets of all sorts, it’s very important that I have many many tools at my disposal to record family events as they happen. Because another biggie is happening…

Yes, FertilisOr (but you can call me VirileMan) is at it again! My wife L is officially back In The Club. Another baby is on the way, and as we joke in the computer business, this deliverable is due around February!

I thought it was foggy yesterday morning when I got to the station and couldn’t see much beyond the end of the platform. No hope of seeing if a train was coming, when it finally did come it was just a few moving lights in the mist before it suddenly glided out of the fog into the station like some kind of huge metal magic trick. "Abracadabra! A six carriage train!"

But if yesterday was foggy, today was doubly foggy, especially up on the 27th floor where I work. Normally the city skyline is abundant with skyscrapers - this morning they were all missing. Out of the windows all that could be seen was an off-white mist. It looked like one of those episodes of Doctor Who where they’ve run out of money, and the crew of the TARDIS look out onto a blank white set.

In fact, it seemed quite possible that aliens had transported the whole building I work in to another planet or time. Would I head out at lunchtime to find that LaTrobe Street wasn’t outside, instead I was on the planet Thwarg Fourteen, faced with a mass of Thwargoid Vttsplurg Warriors, armed to the teeth with Office Worker Vapourisers?

As it turned out, no.